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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?